Month: May 2016

So I’m afraid this week you’re going to be stuck with another opinion piece. I’ve been asked my how I feel about this scenario several times in the last month and feel quite strongly about it, shocking I know, so now you all get to hear about it. My editor, aka/ retired English teacher mom, is in Paris this week so please excuse any run on sentences or poor grammar.

We all parent differently. Despite the numerous “how to” books you can buy there is no secret recipe for success. There are weeks that I feel I have it all under control, that I really have the whole “mom” thing running like a well oiled machine, only to be humbled by the next stumbling block that comes flying out of left field. My point being that I will express in this blog how we as parents , Sean and I, have chosen to deal with this scenario with clear understanding that ours is not the only correct way.

How many times has your child begged you to let him/her audition for the local production that your community theater is producing? We have heard “it’s the role I’ve always dreamed of!”, “all my friends are going to be in it!”, and “Please mom! Please dad!” More often than I would care to remember. We love our community theater. It’s where our children have learned to love theater and they have gained so much skill through their experiences there. Here’s the catch. You’ve just spent money, time, & energy for the last several months obtaining an agent, creating a resume and headshot, and have made several trips into the city to audition for the “big leagues”. How can you tie your child’s time up with a community production when you have already firmly planted both feet on this path to professional theater?

It’s tricky! You have to decide right from the beginning that once you commit to the production you are not leaving despite what other opportunities might come along. We had to sit Zack down and make sure he understood that this was his decision. If he auditioned for this show and was cast he couldn’t change his mind later because something “bigger” or “better” came along. It wouldn’t be fair to the director or to the rest of the cast and a commitment is a commitment, “you’re only as good as you’re word”.  If he still wanted to audition then I would also email his agent and give him a heads up about Zack’s plan and the dates involved and make sure that he didn’t know of any reason for which we shouldn’t pursue the opportunity. Inevitably, each time after Zack was cast and accepted the role, some great opportunity came up with which the local production conflicted. Sometimes the other project would accept a video submission in light of the conflict, other times we simply had to pass. It was hard to watch the opportunity slip by but we felt strongly enough about the lesson the situation taught to let it go.

Friends and aquaintances struggle with this too and will ask my opinion. Her are my thoughts:

1) To quote a favorite show “A contract, is a contract, is a contract”. Whether paid or not you and your child gave at least your word, if not your signature, saying you would participate in the production. What lesson are you teaching your child if you allow him/her to leave the theater in the lurch to take another, “better”, opportunity? You’re teaching them you can step on whomever you want to on your way up the ladder, it’s OK to bail out on your friends and set them up for unnecessary trials or outright failure if it helps you to succeed, and that some people are more important than others. Sean and I agree that as much as we want our child to find success on this path he is traveling, our first goal is to raise a kind and independent child who has integrity, compassion, and loyalty. Of course you could discuss this with the director at the theater and perhaps they may have an option “B” for your child that would allow them to leave the local production without causing too much difficulty. This has not been our experience and we have watched as many relationships have been irreversibly damaged in the process.

2) Every role is a good role. It is what you make of it. I personally have a problem with the philosophy that a child has “out grown” an ensemble role or can no longer learn from a community theater experience. Bologna! Each new role, no matter how big or how small, gives your child an opportunity to embrace a new character with new challenges. The challenge could be in the spotlight singing a solo, an ensemble role playing three different characters and learning how to quick change, or an ensemble person with one role also helping with scenery changes and a need to remain quietly backstage. Guess what!?! Even most Broadway actors have to play more than one role, know how to quick change, and …yes…even have to change scenery. There may be long periods of time in professional shows that actors are expected to remain quietly back stage. It’s a very important skill. Your child will learn and take from the experience what they invest in the experience. It may even offer an opportunity to act as a mentor, you won’t know unless you keep an open mind.

And finally,

3) This is your child’s dream. To a certain degree they are choosing their own path. You may not agree with the choice of what may feel like a “step back” to the community level after the investment you’ve made in the professional process but as the parent you are really just the “guide”. It’s his/her journey. You can express your concerns, make sure he/she understands that once the commitment is made you expect him/her to follow through, and ensure that it is understood that there may be sacrifices if other opportunities come along, but ultimately it is his/her choice to make.

It’s hard sometimes. They are our children. We are programmed as parents to want them to succeed. Sometimes we can confuse success with money and notoriety and forget about happiness. There are times, for reasons we do not always understand, a role comes along that is tremendously important to our child and he/she will invest in the role and will be happy and learn more than you could imagine from the new experience. In my book this is a great success story! What’s that old saying…”one in the hand is worth two in the bush”.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. In the grand scheme these are truly not life altering choices; however, how you react and follow through with them certainly can be life altering as you are setting examples for your child to follow. Don’t lose sight of your goals as his/her parent while also playing a part time role as his/her manager.

As always thoughts are welcome.

 

 

The question about how school happens for these entertainment kids when they are working on a show keeps cropping up. I am not a teacher but am more than happy to share my understanding of how school is handled in a few different scenarios and also how our experience has been while on tour.
There are a few different scenarios that effect how school is managed. 1) Your child is and will continue to be home schooled. God Bless you! I truly admire parents who have the patience and organizational skills to offer this to their child. Not to mention the actual skill to teach all of those subjects. 2) Your child is in rehearsal for a show, either for a touring show or for a show “sitting down” somewhere. 3) Your child is performing in a show and currently touring or 4) Your child is performing in a show “sitting down” somewhere i.e./ Not changing location like the shows that are playing on Broadway.
If you already home school your child you have the best case scenario in terms of setting up school when embarking on this adventure. You won’t need to change anything. You already have your system in place and presumably know all the requirements for school aged children in your state of residence. If you decide you are going to begin homeschooling your child as you begin this adventure I would strongly suggest that you do your research on the requirements for schools aged children in your state of residence. You’re going to want to know minimally how many of hours of school / week are required, how school work and progress is required to be documented i.e./ a portfolio, regular assessments, etc.., and any annual standardized testing that may be required. I suggest you find someone in your community who home schools and is passionate about it as they will be your best resource. I know that in many ways Zack would benefit from home schooling but it is one gift I have not yet been able to give him. More power to you! Parents who home school have my complete admiration!
From this point on we will be referring to children who are not home schooled. When rehearsing for an equity show, school or tutoring is typically arranged by the company. They will provide the teachers, the schedule and cover the cost. This may not necessarily be true of a non equity production and is absolutely one of the points I would want to have clearly laid out for me in a contract before my child were to sign with a non equity show. The rehearsal schedule will typically require kids to be present at rehearsal during regular school hours. This would make it impossible for a child to attend his/her regular school during the rehearsal period. Zack has done non- equity professional shows local to us during the school year. The company worked with us to make sure that his call times for rehearsal were after school throughout the rehearsal period. When the show moved to tech we were fortunate to be in a school system that was willing to accommodate him missing a few days of school to afford him the experience. This made for some very long days for Zack but he never complained, maintained his grades, and for the short run of these shows it was manageable. The equity shows we know of both through our own experience, and those of our friends, work with an education company that provides tutors to the show. The company researches to make sure the children are in compliance with the regulations in their state of residence. The company we are most familiar with is On Location Education. Their tutors on site are excellent and their office staff are right on top of everything and worked with our school system to offer Zack the most seamless transition possible to school on tour. They are even aware of when our school system has vacation days and gives Zack those same days off from tutoring.
For the most part our school system was willing to share an outline of the curriculum that Zack would have been covering if he were to have remained in school at home. They even loaned him the text books he would need. This is a great scenario and is not always the case. Some kids we are touring with did not get that level of support from home and have worked with On Location Education to find a curriculum that would work best for the child while meeting the requirements for  regulations in their state of residence.

Once rehearsal period is over and your child starts performing whether or not the company continues to provide the tutoring necessary for school will depend on if your child is touring or performing in a show that is staying in one place. Typically a touring show has a staff of tutors, ours has 2, that will travel with the company and provide school. The company is very respectful of the regulations regarding the education of the children in the cast and school is given priority. The children are allowed to “bank” a small number of school hours that they may perform in a slower week that will ensure they are not missing required time in the case of illness. The company continues to support school financially, you are not responsible.
In the case of a “sit down” show, one that is not moving, Broadway for example, the company is no longer responsible for providing the education piece to your child. There are plenty of schools in NYC that can offer your child an education so it is then up to the parents to decide if you will enroll your child in a local school, find an online or “virtual” school for him/her, or transition to home schooling. We have friends working in each of these scenarios and after a period of adjustment they are happy with the choice that they made. I personally questioned the ability of a child to perform on Broadway and still attend a regular school offering “regular” school hours. After speaking with one particular friend who had a son who did this for a fairly long period of time I was relieved to hear that for the right child in the right school this is a totally viable option.
So that’s what I know about school in a nutshell. I hope it helps those of you who had that on your list of questions as you consider embarking on this adventure. If you have any specific questions please ask them! If I don’t know the answer there are enough regular readers here that there is sure to be someone else who may have an answer and we can all learn something from the answer.
Until next time…..